DIVA

"I…. should have know better with a girl like you…"
Lagu ini mengiringi malem minggu hari ini–sambil nginternet dan ngebrowse gak jelas. cek imel, ngisi microsoft money, liat foto foto orang di internet (hey, gue baru tahu salah satu kegunaan friendster–untuk liat2 profile orang trus di browwwwseeeeeeeeeeeeeee). Kegiatan terakhir tadi , lucu juga, jadi banyak liat foto teman di profile temannya, jadi tau testimonials temen ke temennya…….Now I know why they called it ‘friendster’ (duh! Turi!)

Duh! next track is ..
"hancur hatiku, mengenang dikau…"
Yupp.
"still I had in mind.. still I had, forever…"
Ahmad dhani– Aku cinta kau dan dia….
Beneran. The-one-I-know-who (karena gue gak bilang sama siapa2) is still in mind. Dan gue benci. Sumpah, gue benci berat ….It’s the feeling you had when you want to scream it out loud–but you just can’t- because you just will embarrased yourself–and the person as well. And it would hurt you even more.

I shopped a lot. A LOT today. And the irony is.. I stayed home instead so I couldn’t boast bout all the stuff i just bought ( we’ll I actually dont boast to people that much..).

"Saat dusta mengalir……… jujur kan lah hati…"
dah lagu ketiga nih…(in case you are wondering… I’m still looking at people’s profile at the moment, so that makes me a slowwwwwww blogger at the moment…). Rasa kangen masih ada, agak benci juga… ada rasa marah juga sama salah seorang orang deket gue.. beberapa orang sih. Tapi gak apa–udah biasa disakitin Ibaratnya gue dah kebal. Mungkin kata kata yang patut gue ungkapkan adalah: GUE KECEWA…. sama diri gue sendiri… karena gak ngikutin hunch gue, gak ngikutin logika, jadi impulsive player kelas berat. GUE SADAR AKAN SEMUA KONSEKUENSI YANG MESTI GUE TANGGUNG… jadi mestinya gue gak boleh bete dong. Tapi tetep aja.

Jujur gue salut.
Sama orang orang yang bisa bertindak seperti mereka. Maksudnya orang orang kolerik bermuka melankolik-flegmatik. Seperti kata film devils advocate: ‘yang tak terduga’. Sekali kali pengen jadi orang licik-licin. Maksudnya menjadi licik, tapi gak terendus, bisa lari lagi seperti ular. Orang yang dilicikin gak akan tersadar. why? karena mereka terkesan –ya itu tadi–melankolik and flegmatik. Ular mana yang nyangka bakal di’kadal’in ama tikus sih? Seorang -you-know-who aja bakal terbius. Thanx to all who had managed to destroy one of the best friendship that once I had. 

Iseng iseng iseng….
Nemu website temen dari temennya temen. (four degrees kali ya? ) eh.. malah ketemu foto temen (first degree), temen lagi (another first degree), ada orang  lagi (gak nyambung) and…. omigod–so omigod banget– The-one-I-know-who. Shit! gila banget! kebetulan tingkat tinggi–karena semua gambar yang gue liat entah kenapa–sesuai banget ama hunch gue yang dah berbulan bulan lalu itu.

Gue beneran bete malam ini. Dan masih kangen, kirain ngebrowse bakal bisa bikin pikiran agak calm–dan tentunya beneran ngilangin perasaan kangen gue…
ENGGAK
pelajaran berharga : kalo lagi bete… tidur…jangan coba coba ngebrowse

Semoga besok bisa agak mendingan. Kan katanya mau beli HP baru. Good nite

TURI– home, nov 26th 10:32 pm.

hellow hellow…
ngisi lagi niy…

sekarang malam minggu….. ada rasa seneng, sedih, kangen……. dan sepi……
baru jam 7 sih…cuman tiba tiba kerasa hampa– vakum
Padahal yang namanya Turi gak pernah kehabisan konco dan teman…
Tapi malam ini rasanya malas kemana mana…

This is one of those moments when u said
"See, u lied again! u can’t handle it, u make fool of yourself.."

Again, from my Friendster Astology :

"You were absolutely certain you’d never mention this to anyone, but suddenly, it’s just impossible to resist talking about it. ==> so hari kemaren banget gak sih?

Oh, and needless to say, ‘it’ most likely involves someone you find endlessly appealing. ==> siapa yah?

Go ahead and share your secret with your friend or your sibling. You need to get this off your chest. ==> wah, kemaren sore emang ada yang ngajakin untuk chatty chatty sore hari

You and your confidante might even end up with a battle plan that will bring you closer to breaking the ice." ==> well, we had a conversation that really opened up my chest, tapi gak ngomongin ‘itu’ sih…

ADA YANG BERNIAT JADI AHLI NUJUM?

From my Friendster’s Profile Astrology section

"You thought the two of you were just friends, and you’ve been conducting yourself accordingly. While you’ve been worried about discretion, caution and not jumping the gun, they’ve been thinking about how to lure you closer. If either of you happens to be unavailable at the moment, however, be very, very careful, even if you’re sure you’re just flirting. You know how quickly an attraction can take off"

Anybody willing to translate this for me?

EURGGGGGGG!!!!

Turi–7:51 am Nov 22nd

Since we were a kid, our life has been filled with choices, from simple things, like where to play, which dolls to play with., which cartoon to watch.

Then, as we grew older, the choices became more complicated, like, which crowd to hang out with, whom to date, which dress to use, or even more complex choices, like which university to go to and which major to take.

Then we went to college, and in my story, it was: study hard, party even harder, make more friends, more stories, more experiences… an A+ or a D- ,  to skip classes or to go to the library.

Then I went abroad… even more studies, more crazy experiences…more stories

Then I came back and work.

Then making choices has never been simple anymore…

LIFE is not simple anymore…

I used to think that I am the kind of person who knows what I want out of life.

Then I realize that, back then in 2003-2004, I was 25, and I still have no clue of who I am and what I want in life.

I was 25, and I have never had any serious nor steady relationship, I am not that passionate about my work, and I realize that I can never hold on to anybody else for my problems.

I made a self defense mechanism to those who approached me.

The idea started a year ago.

I met this American girl who happened to work here, and she mentioned that – we ( as in ‘me and her’) are in the period of life where every little things become so important that we turned into very cautious human beings and take everything so seriously. We suddenly want so many things in life—that we can’t possibly have. Not only that, the society—a.k.a our families and friends and colleagues—seemed to push us into doing the ‘ordinary things that people do’ like; getting married.

We called this term: quarter life crisis (like we are going to live 100 years… but we are very optimistic person)

Now, year 2005.

Last Friday night, we were at a club, in the middle of drinking, and buzzing and talking about ¼ life crisis…Then suddenly a friend of mine spoke in the middle of the music… “We are not in a ¼ life crisis… We are in stage called life crisis”

Then she paused.

I was about to assured her that it is only a ¼-love life-crisis when she spoke again

“ No…… not only our love life is in crisis… but our life. Honey, we are in crisis”

Then she smiled and nodded and finished her drink.

Are we, Am I?

Now, I am 26. I think I have found my passion in life (that is to write, meet new people and ‘go to places where no one has gone before’ J ). I still work for the same company, but in a different department and am more optimistic about it. I still take things too seriously, still want things I can’t have, and am still figuring out where to go from here. Am I ready for a next phase in life…. or not.  My love life? Well, still ‘haven’t found what I am looking for’ as U-2 said. Found an abundant resource for Mr Right-Now…… but still looking for Mr Right. I still make wrong choices – and not happy about it.

Is this what we called a quarter life crisis?

I have no idea…I am only 26.

Ok…

EURGGGGSSSS

I know they are just materials, but still… i love them! I lost them.. and can’t figure out how I lost them.. after all, I am an organized person, right? eurrrrr…. ok, better skip the Qs, ehheheheh.

For those of you who’d like to do some good deeds pasca Lebaran for me… these are the stuff I dearly love but gone missing– or just some stuff I’d love to ahve, but can’t afford, hiks hiks:

1. My Joss Stone albums CD
2. The Forgotten- VCD/DVD (I havent even seen it after minutes 45)
3. My Kahlil Girbran Collections–including the english version of The Prophet :(huaaaaa)
4. The english version of Da Vinci Code
5. 30 minutes meal for dummies –gotta learn to cook soon , hihihi
6. The book "100 things to see and places to visit before you die"
7. My Diesel Jeans and my Brown 501 Corduroy: Gone mising, hiks hiks
8. A new handphone with camera– or a new digital camera and an iPod
9. and….
10. Tickets to holiday on ice :p (apasih Turi…)

Well well,
it is sunday now….
so I have only 2 days of holiday left!
Gush!
I hate those feelings you got when you think of working again after 1 week of holiday, sucks!

But, let’s just think it the other way around– that the glass is half full and that I’m feeling it up as you read this :P– so instead of "I have only 2 days left", it is "I  still have 2 days of holiday left!"

I had a nice-wonderfull time this lebaran holiday.
We had a nice time yesterday with the kids down in the pool, lots of food, yummy :p Lots of nice people :), and nice ‘dagangan pasar’ hahahaha!

and the fun still follows..
Last nite I went to ke-kun (nice music– u know I always like beatles..), 2nd floor (only to got ‘thrown out’ (bwaha!)) , then to circa or cirka/ or sirka? dont really remember the name ( BAD music– that helicopter sound hi hi )

But nice times, nice dancing, nice people, a very nice person.

I AM BACK!

Yoo hoo!

I watched an episode of desperate housewives today.. and in that episode teri hatcher’s character finally decided to move on with her life– after a few months of living with rage and furiousity (is it actually a word? dunno, it just sounds cool to write it :p ). Well, I planned to do the same here, so God help me out here!

I am moving on and I’m gonna fill up the glass - up to the top!

lucu ya….
kebetulan kan gak ada….

tapi
kok bisa ya?
ungkapan hati saya kebetulan hilang…?

Pertama…
tentunya selamat idul fitri…
Kedua tentunya
MAAF LAHIR BATHIN

(walaupun sebelum puasa kita kan sudah Maaf lahir bathin, tapi kalau kalau selama sebulan puasa masih ada dendam tersimpan, makanya kita saling minta maaf lagi, boleh tho…)

wauw, alhamdullillah, lebaran lagi…idul fitri lagi….
rasanya senang masih bisa lebaran..
dan selama idul fitri, tentunya banyak ritual ritual tahunan yang dilakukan….
seperti
kembali ke dapur–berhubung si mbak pulang
membalas ratusan sms, beberapa kartu pos dan puluhan email –yang intinya "selamat lebaran"
makan ketupat, sambal bajak dan cemilan yang buanyak banget–dari parsel untuk bokap
nonton film film warkop dan komedi srimulat dan masih tetep ngakak–thanx untuk TV yang mutar kembali
dan….
nimbang berat badan dan…
aduh, memutuskan buat gak nimbang dulu sampe 2 minggu lagi..
hehehee
HAPPY LEBARAN

(PS: Kapan niy bikin the 1st party after the lebaran? ;)  )